I started this blog in July 2008 because I was angry. Angry because I believed the media and financial industry were misleading Canadian investors. Angry because the high-priced Canadian stock market was due for a fall.
And perhaps angry because I hadn’t benefited from the circumstances which made stocks expensive in the first place?
Well, I’m angry again. So angry in fact, that you might not have to wait seven months till my next update.
I spent 15 years in the investment industry — as a research analyst and more recently a hedge fund manager. I did quite well for myself. Not buying wineries-and-yachts-well, but well-enough to pursue my other passions: writing a humor book, studying carpentry — that’s been my life since 2006.
When I left finance, I sold all my stocks — partly because I felt the market was overvalued — and partly because I didn’t want to risk my riches. Readers haven’t exactly been lining up to buy my Sedaris-ish lamentations and apprentice carpenters only earn $12 an hour.
This wasn’t the first time I’ve had zero stock market exposure. The only time I’ve ever been aggressive in my stock market investing was in the early 1990s. After two years as a research assistant in a Bay Street firm, I backpacked to Asia to find my fortune. I found work as an equities analyst in Hong Kong, a pretty big promotion for somebody who spent his previous job arguing with secretaries over who should send the fax. Those were bull market times in Hong Kong and I received my first large bonus in January 1995 which I put to “work” in stock options on a floppy disk manufacturer called Hanny Magnetics — oops. Losing all my money, coupled with the knowledge that I share the DNA of my risk-loving father who has gone bankrupt twice, permanently imprinted me with the risk tolerance of an 88-year-old widow. Since then, I’ve rarely had more than 10% of my money in equities.
Sometimes my conservative disposition was a good thing: I was an analyst living in Asia during the 1997-98 financial crisis. Sometimes it was a bad thing: I missed out on the internet stock boom.
But it had another unexpected effect. It made me an outcast in society. Having no stock market exposure has turned my soul black. It made me evil. You see, while the rest of the world cheered when stock markets rose, I was The Grinch angrily waiting the collapse – the pain – that would prove me right for my caution. I relished in recessions and stock market blood.
But I didn’t want to be a grinch. I didn’t want to steal anyone’s Christmas. I wanted to be like regular people. Who wants to be the only one with a bomb shelter in their backyard when everybody else is dead? No – it was time to rejoin society.
Early this year, with the market headed back to 1929 levels, I saw my chance to once again become human. By God if we were headed back to the time of soup kitchens, I would get in line with my brothers.
So I decided to get long the markets. I set myself a target of 25% of my complete wealth.
While my heart was in the right place, the mistake was the time frame. You see back in January 2009, I envisioned only two scenarios for the market:
- 10 years of pain
- 2 years of pain
Based on these scenarios, I decided to gradually build myself up to 25% equity exposure over a two year period.
Which brings me to the here and now. I wish I’d considered a third scenario: Namely that the BEAR MARKET IS #@$!! OVER — because seven months into my strategy, the markets are up sharply, and I only got about 9% of my money invested. Sure, I’ve made money but not enough to make me feel good.
The icing on the cake for me is my term deposits. A good chunk of my GICs rolled over last week, and the best I can now do is 1.5% compared to 4.5% a year ago. In other words, I just received a 66% pay cut!
This leaves me very angry.
The grinch-in-me tells me that the rally is overdone – and that the bear market may not be over. But this grinch-in-me tends to see the world in shades of green and I’m not talking about the color of money.
And while the grinch-in-me still prays for a correction to destroy all of you who dared prevent the Apocalypse that would allow me to buy the whole world for nothing, I’ve pledged to keep to my strategy of buying slowly – roughly 1% per month – as per my original dopey strategy. I just want to be human in the end.
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